I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
