She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
