just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
