We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
