he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
