Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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