yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
