break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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