Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
