The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
