eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
