oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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