I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm determined to sit on that face.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
