Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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