areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
