yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
