I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
