The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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