so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
