apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
