I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
