Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just want nice things and good sex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
