Cold hands, warm shart.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize