There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
