The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
