what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
organizing the empties. That sober.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
