yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
