I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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