My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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