evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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