so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
