Why are handjobs necessary in class?
worst night to have a conscience
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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