I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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