found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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