Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
