last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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