I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
