Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
