I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
