drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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