Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
