chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
