I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
