i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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