Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
NoShamevember. You game?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
