Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
