I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
