Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
