i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
