using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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