Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
