So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
