I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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