i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
In America we eat man semen.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
